Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
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