it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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