i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
