Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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