so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
