You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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