I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize