Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
