There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
