Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
That accounts for only three of the penises
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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