Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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