Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
