No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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