I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize