you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm just crazy horny about you
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
