I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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