i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
she looked like the before picture.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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