No, you can still breathe under the balls.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
