I just cut my nipple shaving
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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