whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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