Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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