trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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