My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm like, not good at living.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
True college students do jello shots in the library
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
