Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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