I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
as a side note pls kill me
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
