does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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