do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
