I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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