soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
