3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
