I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
