I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
