Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
