he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
