I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
