Sry I called you an 8
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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