I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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