I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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