i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
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Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
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I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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