Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
