so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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