I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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