We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
