just come out here and I will go home with you...
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
It was like giving head to a cactus.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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