at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
