Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
If that was your dad, he is hot
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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