david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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