Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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