The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
