I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
