Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
