No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
It's Friday. Sex?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
