As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
