After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I love you.
Bad choice
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
