Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
