I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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