Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
