its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
