did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
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You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
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Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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