Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
