my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
i think i just lost a toe
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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