We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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