just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
