Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
