Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
